Thinking you’re too high maintenance and making yourself stressed over what your partner thinks about you and your needs is a sure fire way to eat you alive.
It’s also a sure-fire way to make them feel they are responsible for your happiness… they are not. No one is but you.
If they feel constantly responsible for your happiness… it’s also a sure-fire way to drive them off. Which is completely understandable to a great degree. Don’t smother them with insecurities while being authentic about the fears you have.
When you’re opening up and becoming vulnerable to someone, you need reassurance. Let’s face it… that’s normal! If it becomes a habit and way of being though… you are ultimately choking out their own ability to make themselves happy.
No one wants that. We all need room to grow individually so we can stand as two strong pillars that uphold the temple of love.
Truth… it feels great for our lovers to make us feel happy, safe, content, loved and more and they should be striving to do so. The same is true for us. We get what we give.
The thing about giving is… it should always be done without expectation.
When our significant others experience the depth of our love, commitment and dedication to the art of relationship… then they will reciprocate. They will learn your love language and find intimate, unique ways to make you feel like the most special person on the planet. *if they aren’t meeting those needs then maybe they’re not for you. Communicate what your needs are, give them the time to fulfill your needs without making you feel needy. If they still are incapable then… move along.
Here I’m talking about needs outside of the bedroom.
Bedroom stuff is just that. It’s reciprocal and no one should be keeping score or think they’re gaining points in this arena of love. It’s sacred, divine and delicious. Definitely should fill needs as well.
However, I’m speaking of how we make each other feel like Kings & Queens the rest of the time. This is crucial!! The love shown outside the bedroom is what makes that sacred space truly divine. It starts with the everyday. The texts, the calls, the gestures, the thoughtfulness, their presence, gifts of heart and so on. Mostly by simply assuring your partner knows, without a doubt, that you’re their priority… right after their own self-care.
Often that’s simply you being yourself in all your glory and flaw alike. We are human. We’ve fallen in love with a human. By definition that will be flawed at times. It will feel awkward sometimes. Show up anyway. Communicate.
Above all STOP playing small where your own needs and frailties come into play. Own that shit. I’m a successful player in the world of business and I didn’t get there by playing small. In fact my insecurities often were/are the asset that made me rise to the occasion and go after exactly what I desired. What I wanted the most.
In the arena of love I still get all weird. Like I’ve walked into a store naked and don’t know how to act. This happens! So what? I want to be that vulnerable for the man I love and in doing so I know I’ll grow and have as much kickassery at love as I do in business and other relationships in my life. The thing is… he sees it all, the me with no guard up. At times that’s terrifying… until I realize how beautiful that is. How precious and what a gift it is to be in that place of surrender to another.
Trust your partner sees it like that as well.
In the realm of love the success is measured much differently and the rewards are ten-fold foreign to the success of business. Truth… I’d trade all my success in financial & spiritual gains for the success of love. Thing is… I don’t have to. I can have it all. You can have it all.
We can have it all!
Being vulnerable (and often needy) is a part of that.
We each have strengths and weaknesses. It’s part of what makes us so beautifully human. I strive every working day to see those strengths AND weaknesses in my employees because I know that’s the key to our mutual success. To see what works and what doesn’t and create balance. It’s the gift of a true leader. I love flaws. I love knowing what they are so I can work with them.
Why would we think our lovers feel anything less than the exact same way about us??
If you’re in love with a champion of heart, a goddess of wisdom and a king of love… they are witnessing all of you and they are saying yes to all of you. Let them see you. Don’t be afraid, and stop playing small. If you lose someone by being yourself… they were not for you.
Along the road of needs… it’s ok to be needy, vulnerable and weak. We all are. Those of us living fully can admit that and live wholeheartedly instead of hiding behind masks and falsehood while pretending we are something we are not.
I’m strong, valuable and loving. I am also weak, often insecure and extremely vulnerable in love.
Your needs don’t make you needy and your crazy doesn’t make you less-than.
As long as your partner sees your deep driving desire for love, your commitment to them and communication… give them time and space and they will help you grow.
…. and do the same for them ❤️
I receive great pleasure in watching others triumph. Breathe deep, keep your balance of self-love and self-care and trust your partner is cheering you on in ways you may not see. In ways that may drive them crazy at times… yet, when you’re sincere, vulnerable, honest, trustworthy and authentic they will see the beauty behind your madness, the treasure among the trivialities and the gem that’s been created through a life of obstacles & heartache. They will see you and love you for all of you.
After all… when I say “I’m crazy about you babe!” He knows part of that’s straight up bat-shit accurate!
Stop playing small.
Never be ordinary
….and watch your life open up to living extraordinary!
** guess what… I don’t feel that you can think you’re high-maintenance and actually BE high-maintenance. It’s like crazy people not having a clue they are crazy. ya know? Do yourself a favor — I will if you will — and stop giving yourself labels that simply aren’t true. We are told all the time we can have what we want, so go out there and get it! Especially in the delicious world of love. Best of luck my friends… I’ll be sure and come back and read my own advice the next time I feel afraid to speak up for my needs… or when I do speak up and immediately feel like I’ve done something wrong. Time to break some self-defeating thoughts and live fully!